TOWAMENCIN – With discussions of a new North Penn, the school board needed inspiration for the renovation of the building. Despite rumors of a remodeling based on the updated Upper Merion, the board struggled to find a muse. Pressure from the government on public education has turned schools into autoclaves about to burst from stress. Administration has now offered a solution to not only transform the architecture of the school, but the academics & culture, too. 

“As we took a step back from everyday school life, we noticed a drop in standardized test scores and a rise in violence in school. The US consistently places low in test scores and safety. However, the UK placed higher in these areas than the US, but not high enough to seem completely pretentious. We’re now looking to Alnwick Castle in England as inspiration for the new structure and culture of the school. This castle has a dynamic history, even being used in one of the most iconic British fantasy movie series, Transformers!” one board member stated. . 

To fuel independence and free kids from stress at home, students will live on campus in dorms where the former Rite-Aid property lies. 

 “Many parents may be wondering how their child will stay safe in this new environment, and I can assure you that we have the safety issue covered. Alongside our normal security guards, we have imported creatures from England called ‘dementors’ to protect our kids. These beasts can stop crime at its source – the human soul. Sucking the soul out of anyone who breaks the school rules ensures good behavior,” one district official explained. . 

To further protect students and staff, a moat will be created around the school, since what’s a castle without a moat, really?! 

During public comment, parents of students in the district were surprised at the shift to a castle model. However, the board explained that the original pod model of North Penn would easy to transition into a castle. Each pod will have its own tower and will be connected by staircases. 

“Concern arose that students will be late for classes if they have to wait for a moving staircase, but the new castle technology will make it all happen very quickly,” the architect stated. 

This transformation may seem drastic, but in this new environment, students will thrive and become wizards of education. Watch the school board meetings on NPTV and in person for more information on the magical makeover!