Knight Crier now featuring absolutely trustworthy horoscopes


The Knight Crier has contracted with Lansdale native, and world renowned psychic Lansdale Lucy, to bring you these unshakable, absolutely true horoscope readings for the week of April 1-7, 2021. Tread lightly… some of you may be better off not knowing. 


Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

The week will be full of surprises for you. One of your teachers may or may not be okay with you skipping class at some point, only if you have your camera on for at least the first 3 days of the week. Also, expect that person you’ve been thinking about lately to reach out to you sooner rather than later.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)  

Be sure to set all of your alarms because you are bound to oversleep one day this week. Your teacher will not give you a free pass however and will result in an unexcused absence. To undo this predestined curse, the Pisces must abide by the North Penn code of conduct law.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)  

Be sure to grab something from the breakfast cart in the k-pod auditorium or else that test you studied for this week won’t end up in the Aries’ favor– also, if you drive, don’t enter through the front entrance on Wednesday of this week because there will be an accident there.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)  

This might be the worst possible week you could have asked for. The topics in class will be unbearably hard to understand, you’ll fail tests, you’ll oversleep, and overall you will want to subtract this week from your life’s memory.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)  

So far, Gemini, this year has been pretty smooth sailing for you. No extraneous struggles, no missed assignments, you’ve been doing quite well on tests. This week however, expect something to change. 

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)  

Post that instagram picture you’ve been wanting to post for a while. Your friends will be supportive with overwhelming emojis and shares on their story. Except skip out on that meme you’re thinking about posting with it– no one except you thinks it’s funny and you’ll be perceived as corny.

Leo (July 23 – August 22) 

Please, for the love of all Gods, do not use the A-pod bathrooms for that entire week. As soon as you walk in you’ll want to regret your life’s decisions. 

Virgo (August 23 – September 22) 

Virgo, you’ll be asked to be a part of the next Morning show and you’ll be a fool for not taking the opportunity to do so. Whether that be by answering the QOTW, or by being in the Brumbaugh Challenge.

Libra (September 23 – October 22) 

Libra, if you are an online student (or even hybrid), and have the option to go into the high school. Do it. Your teacher may or may not have something special planned for you and that one other person.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)  

Mr. Nicholson himself will ask for your insight on an important issue regarding Prom. And what you say in response to his question will be the one change everyone is looking for. 

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)  

Your ID card will have malfunctions and will not work when you try signing in at least one time this week and nor will your ID number. What you will have to do, to prove that you are a North Penn student, is by naming all segments of the morning show.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)  

What was once a really exciting idea to you, will be the biggest and most utter disappointment in your life. Don’t get your hopes too high and spare yourself the sorrow– it won’t be as good as you imagine. I’m talking about lunch of course.