Am I ready for the big world?


Logan Dubil

The Knight Crier staff writer Logan Dubil reflects on his past eighteen years packed with memorable experiences, but also looks forward into the horizon of his new home in Pittsburgh.

The time is currently 12:39am on Monday morning, April 29th. My original plans were simple: lay down and fall asleep, while listening to music, of course. A few songs passed by, keeping me awake as I sang the words in my head. Then, the song “Don’t Throw Out My Legos,” by AJR took its turn in rotation.

Just downloading this song yesterday, I was intrigued by the new set of lyrics, as it was a change in my original music routine. This gave me the opportunity to listen to its lyrics and get to know the band’s style. I have always been an AJR fan, but this piece is something else.

Just a few hours earlier, I was in Long Island, New York, celebrating Greek Easter with my mom’s side of the family, a group of people I don’t see as often as I would like. With distant family relationships comes the usual questions during our reunions:

“How did you get so tall?”

“How is school?”

And my favorite…”Where are you going to college and what are you studying?

For the past couple of months, I didn’t know how to answer this question, because I didn’t know the answer. Sounds understandable, right? Well, wrong! All my life I knew what I aspired to do when I grew up, I just think I was holding myself back. By the time Greek Easter hit, though, I was committed to college and had an understanding of what I wanted to study, so I could finally confirm the grand question. I spent the whole time talking to my family about my college plans, along with my future goals.  

I have to admit, I have always been an attention seeker, so talking about myself was never a problem, but after spending 4+ hours talking about my future…it hit me. Am I ready for this?

The main verse in the song “Don’t Throw Out My Legos” reads:

“Oh no, don’t throw out my Legos,

What if I can’t let go,

What if I come back home,

Back home.”

Personally, Legos were never my forte, but the song hit me hard, especially after a day like yesterday. Ever since the 10th grade, the idea of college has excited me, but today, that same idea provided myself a mix of emotions.

My entire life has provided numerous memories, good and bad, that will make it hard to move out, relocating myself 5 hours from Lansdale. I will miss the “Lego” moments that make living at home what has been.

Just when I began to have these fears, my aunt started talking about how much fun I will have. This is what allowed me to breathe and realize that she is right. Yes, high school, middle school, and elementary school have had their fair share in giving me a memorable childhood, but college will top all of that. I know what I want to study, I know what sports I am competing in, I even know who my roommate is, I just need to get there and enjoy it, because I am ready.

So to answer my own question, I AM ready for the big world.

At the end, “I wanna move out, I don’t want to move on.” – AJR