TOWAMENCIN – A well-educated man, Dwight Homan attended LaSalle University for graduate school to receive his Master’s degree in education. Surprisingly, however, he has announced his temporary leave of absence in order to pursue a career as the governor of Pennsylvania. Anticipating Tom Corbett’s shrinking approval rating, Homan admits he has been planning his endeavor for a while now.
“I saw this coming from a long way, and it’s finally my time to shine. I’ve spent the last few months outlining Corbett’s weakest political areas, and I’m feeling very confident about the 2015 election. I love teaching, but it’d be too much attempting to balance time in the classroom and campaign activities. This will be my final year teaching for a while.”
When speaking with the Knight Crier, he admitted that a position as Pennsylvania’s governor would be a very serious change, but nothing he wouldn’t be able to handle.
“Being the governor will be a big deal, and I understand that the decisions I make will affect millions of people. There are several factors that over qualify me as the best candidate for the position: Stylish dressing, daily visits to news websites, familiarity speaking behind a podium, and most importantly, a commanding knowledge of PowerPoint. I don’t mean to brag, but students refer to me as ‘the PowerPoint connoisseur’ because I use it at least 165 days of the school year, and I feel as if this will be a vital tool in office. Now, just one or two of these factors alone would not be enough to guarantee me a spot in office, but I believe that when you combine all of these rare attributes, Pennsylvania may just have its best governor of all time.”
Homan admitted that the twelve years teaching has impacted his life greatly, and he will be sure to inculcate what he has learned here at North Penn into his campaigning. He believes that his newly formed political party is sure to grow and gain momentum once people understand its goals.
“My political philosophies have changed a bit over the last decade. However, the two things that have always embodied my political ideology revolve around the ideals of both the Green Party and the Tea Party movement; Thus, my creation of the Green-Tea Party. I support extreme environmentalism and non-violence alongside fiscal conservatism and substantially reduced government. We’ll see how it all works out.”
Anyone that knows Dwight Homan will miss him dearly. Be sure to follow his campaign over the next few months and maybe even take a trip to the polls in 2015.