TOWAMENCIN – During a recent inspection at North Penn High School, the Towamencin fire marshal ruled that the abundance of paper in the high school is a fire hazard, and as a result all of it must be removed by the last week in April.

“There is way too much paper in this school: in classrooms, in the hallways, in the cafeteria. If anything happens to catch on fire, it would spread like crazy and burn the whole school down. We have to make sure that doesn’t happen, and the only way to do that is to just get rid of all of the paper as soon as possible. It’s for the best, really,” the fire marshal commented later.

With so much money being put into building the fence around the perimeter of the school and the dome around Crawford Stadium, the district does not have the resources to supply all students with the latest technology to make up for the loss of ability to use paper.

To fill this gap and replace paper, students will be given slabs of stone to write on as well as smaller stones to write with.  According to the Social Studies Department Chairman, Mr. Brendon Mostert, this will help students connect more with the material they learn in history about ancient times.

“I teach AP World History, and we learn about the ancient civilizations in Mesopotamia and in the Mediterranean, and back then people wrote on stone instead of paper and used sharp tools and weapons as pencils. Since we can’t have students carrying around sharp objects that could be used as weapons, we decided smaller stones would be better. Either way, it will help students see how people used to live and really connect with history.”

The school wide abolishment of paper materials and the first usage of stone will begin on April 1.