There is something about Starbucks. Twice the price of WaWa or 7-Eleven, and twice the wait in line… but people flock there by the hundreds every morning. So, NPHS has decided it’s time to get in on the action.
Due to the overwhelming number of people in North Penn High School at all times, North Penn administration has decided to open a Starbucks outside the doors on the right side of the main concourse.
“If it keeps my kids awake during my Moby-Dick lectures, I’m all for it. Starbucks for everyone while we read about Starbuck! Best of all worlds,” said an English teacher at NPHS who wished to remain anonymous in the event there are any coffee stains on her K-pod classroom carpet.
On Friday, May 1st, 2015, the café is scheduled to officially open for all North Penn students, staff, faculty, and visitors to enjoy before, during, and after school and during weekend events. The Starbucks will be open 6:30am-8pm Monday through Friday, but will be closed during all lunch periods so as to not upset the monopoly that is the cafeteria.
This Starbucks is sure to bring in considerable revenue with its convenient location. There will be a 10% discount offered with the presentation of any North Penn School District ID. 5% of all sales will be used to fund the newly reopened Cookie Corner. And there is a 15% chance the security team will be able to keep the coffee in the cafe and out of the hallways.
The menu for the café will include typical Starbucks items, but also specialty North Penn beverages, including Knight Delight Smoothie, The Burton Chai Tea, and Lady Knight Latte.
Students are reminded that class tardiness due to Starbucks runs will be tolerated only in the instance that teachers are provided with a beverage of their choice. Should this beverage not be provided, the student shall receive a punishment in proportion to the size of the beverage he or she has purchased: for example, a 12-ounce drink would result in 12 detentions.
Additionally, any students found bringing Starbucks drinks into the auditorium will be immediately expelled, and they may not bring carpet into the Starbucks either.
Construction for the Starbucks will begin within the upcoming weeks, therefore blocking off the entire concourse. Students should account for this detour by avoiding the concourse at all times throughout the day.
Everyone is welcome to attend a ceremonial ribbon cutting at 6:30am on Friday, May 1st to officially open the shop. Even though it seems far away, opening day for Starbucks will be here before you can say “decaf.”