Ranking the Super Bowl commercials of 2019

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Every Super Bowl, advertisers seem to go into overdrive to catch the attention of the event’s 111 million viewers. One would be understandably mistaken to think that, at times, the commercials are what attracts viewers more than the game itself. Many of these adverts are so bizarre, unpredictable, and captivating that you easily make hour long videos focusing on the commercials alone (and they have on YouTube!) This year’s Super Bowl did not disappoint in that regard, so here’s my Top 10 Super Bowl Commercials. This took an hour out of my life that I fear I will never get back.

Keep in mind, this is my personal opinion, so you may not entirely agree. Do you think another commercial should have been on my list? Feel free to comment.

 

10.Walmart Parking Commercial

Walmart’s entry in this list is a veritable gold-mine of pop-culture references as famous cars drive to pick up groceries and the latest deals. This advertisement features the appearances of the Batmoblie, Scooby-Doo’s Mystery Machine, the Ghost-Buster’s Van, Back to the Future Delorean, and a plethora of others I recommend you try to find for yourself. The reason I put so low on the list, however, is because there isn’t much more to this commercial aside from the spectacle of seeing all these famous cars together and a couple of jokes and references.

 

9.#Killerskin OLAY

The five-second adverts leading up to the main commercial itself were certainly ominous, consisting of a couple screaming for their lives while their house is assaulted by a masked maniac in a homage to 80s horror flicks. In the official version, we see the couple (woman played by Sarah Michelle Geller) take refuge in the bedroom and try to call the police, only (GASP!) Sarah is unable to open her phone via facial recognition because of how Olay Formula has changed her complexion. The couple seemingly forgets the mortal danger they’re in so they can enthusiastically discuss the perks of Olay Formula as the Slasher breaks the door down. Even the killer joins in the conversation to compliment Sarah!

 

8.Skittles Broadway Precursor Commercial

 

One of the wildest ideas for advertising during the Super Bowl Season was perhaps basing an entire Broadway Musical starring Michael C. Hall based on your product. Though I was unfortunately unable to see the show itself, the precursor to the main event is no slouch in grabbing your attention, consisting of Michael C. Hall seeing a therapist about his stress in participating in the musical. The already odd scenario takes a turn for the even stranger as a scarecrow representing Hall’s insecurities appears out of nowhere and gets into a discussion on how offensive the term ‘scarecrow’ is. Then, it’s revealed that the entire therapy appointment in of itself was a Broadway show. Hall’s bewildered expression would probably match the audiences’. What just happened?

 

7.Mercedes A- Class listens to you

 

Something about this commercial is cathartic. It features an everyday man gaining the ability to manipulate reality to do whatever he says. At first, he only makes subtle changes, like having the traffic lights change color, having tickets blow away, and lost cats return to their owners. He begins to get a little more ambitious as ATM machines spew out money like a slot machine, Will E. Coyote crashes into real life on a rocket, and an opera transforms into a rap show featuring Ludacris. The man who can change the world with just a few words then enters the Mercedes A-Class, a car that promises to change its features to whatever you say. Slightly less epic in comparison, but the imagery is still amazing.

 

6.Amazon Beta Testing Program

Amazon promotes its Alexa device in a way similar to when Alexa lost her voice and had it replaced with celebrity voices (I won’t be forgetting Gordon Ramesy’s addition anytime soon). Here, we see the various failed projects of installing Alexa into EVERYTHING, mostly stuff belonging to celebrities, including the collar of the Harrison Ford’s dog. Eventually, this results in ALexa accidently turning off the power of the entire world. This is amazing for just for the imagery alone of Ford’s dog constantly ordering more and more dog food.

 

5.Audi Choking Hallucination

This commercial is noticeable for just how terrifying (and also darkly hilarious) it is when you realize the implications. It begins with a man walking through a dreamlike wheat field near a mountain range towards an old-fashioned, isolated house. Sitting on the steps is a kindly old man, his Grandfather, who welcomes him with open arms and brings him to his garage, which contains the amazing Audi e-tron. The man seems to be in complete bliss until he begins heaving. We cut to the man in a business office being given the Heimlich Maneuver by a colleague until he chokes up a cashew. Everyone else is relieved, but the man himself has a crestfallen expression on his face. The implications are pretty dark. This man’s vision of heaven is being reunited with his most likely dead grandfather and receiving the Audi e-tron. This is messed-up on so many levels, but that’s probably what makes it so hilarious.

 

4.#BudKnight for the Throne

This one probably caught everyone off guard. It begins in a happy-go-lucky medieval kingdom (a lot of artistic license there) that is becoming common in these Bud-Light advertisements. The King is excited for a jousting duel and is happy he doesn’t have the Plague anymore (usually there’s only one way to lose the Plague, and that’s being dead). The famous Bud-Knight himself appears to take part in the duel against a rather ominous opponent in rusty armor. It’s as light-hearted as we expect until the Bud-Knight is knocked off his horse. The tone of the ad takes a complete one-eighty as the mysterious challenger crushes the Bud-Knight’s head between his hands. The crowd screams in horror before a terrifying dragon appears from nowhere and lays fiery waste to everyone and everything. The commercial ends overlooking the Bud-Knights corpse surrounded by rubble as we learn that this is a partnership between Bud-Light and Game of Thrones, something I (nor anyone else for that matter) saw coming. I must say that they got the violence down-pat. This commercial is near and dear to my heart for just how unpredictable it is. Winter has Come, my friends.

 

3.The Washington Post- Knowing keeps us free

 

I can’t say I’m that familiar with the Washington Post, but I won’t deny that they created a powerful message. The video stresses the importance of knowing all the facts, as “Knowing keeps us free,” as a slideshow plays showing pictures from World War II, the Civil Rights Movement, the Moon Landing, and even the fires in California. A memorium featuring reporters who have been killed, like Marie Colvin and Jamal Kashoggi, is also featured. I may be biased as an amuteur reporter, but something about this message hits home for me. Knowing truly does keep us free.

 

2.Turkish Airlines- The Journey

Much like the Bud-Knight ad, this one takes many people off guard. This six-minute movie features moments that seem to be taken out of a spy movie like Mission Impossible or Jason Bourne, as a serious-faced blond women stalks a mysterious black-haired one across Istanbul while keeping correspondence with a cryptic voice on her cell phone. There is clearly a larger story at work here, but it’s never revealed who these characters are or what their goals are. If you were watching this at the time of the Super Bowl, you would have thought you accidently changed the channel and were watching a thriller. It features many breathtaking views of Turkey through beaches and temples, and is revealed to be an ad for Turkish Airlines. I certainly want to visit Turkey sometime in the future thanks to this commercial, so I think it did its job.

 

1.NFL-100

 

I’m more of a casual fan of football, but I won’t deny the impact and importance of this clip. It features football’s biggest stars of yesterday and today at a gala celebrating the one-hundred years of the NFL, but Oakland Raiders running back Marshawn Lynch gets a little hungry and scoops off a chunk of the cake, causing the decorative football at the top to fall to the ground. Every player in the room seems to go into a football frenzy, and beginning chucking the ball in every direction and crashing into every table. In a video that features such faces as Tom Brady, Joe Montana, Peyton Manning, and so many more, this is sure to make anyone feel proud to be a football fan.

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